Validation

Again. 

I sit here rubbing my bruised pride/heart because I’ve once more been shot down when I sought recognition and praise. I was so proud of myself for accomplishing a very technical project in a new software package. I was met with a lukewarm response to my draft presentation with some criticism of a minor detail. I mentioned draft, right?

I have this scenario frequently in a variety of areas in my life. My personality is such that I enjoy approval, and I’m sure my people pleaser inner child surfaces too often. Yes, some days that little blondie-girl with long braids and an open, smiling face rushes up to someone with a freshly colored picture, offering it up with joy, excitement and enthusiasm for to the person she wants to surprise and please… only to be met with little-to-no acknowledgement, to say nothing of loving, kind words of encouragement or at least a robust “Atta girl!”  I watch her shoulders slump, her eyes spilling over with liquid disappointment as she walks away, biting down on what should be a stiff upper lip, betrayed by trembling sadness. 

I own my overtime need for validation. I also struggle to remain tender and not allow myself to steel over my heart, burying it into a grave of bitterness and hardness. There is a balance I seek, and it’s a process. While I can repeat affirmations from sunrise to sunset, and work on growing my self-confidence, these esteem field bombs still take me by surprise.  I also need to remember that some of the people in my life I hold most dear simply don’t have the sensitivity/capacity to offer a hearty approval, having been broken in their own lives or never having received it themselves. 

In these moments, I find deep consolidation and satisfaction in remembering my value and worth to God. 1 John 3:1-2 reminds me of the love He lavishes on me, and reminds me that I am a delightful work in progress. Colossians 3:1-3 helps me focus on things of eternal value. Ephesians 2:10 celebrates me as God’s masterpiece created for plans He has for me. 

I can always go to my Heavenly Father to see me reflected in His loving face. He is proud of His daughter, and celebrates even what may seem like small accomplishments. I am learning to release the need to seek the approval of man, which always leaves me empty, and to find my identity, value and worth in my Father above, watching over me proudly and cheering me on.

See how great a love the Father has bestowed on us, that we would be called children of God; and such we are. For this reason the world does not know us, because it did not know Him. Beloved, now we are children of God, and it has not appeared as yet what we will be. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him just as He is. 1 John 3:1-2

Therefore if you have been raised up with Christ, keep seeking the things above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. Colossians 3:1-4

For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand so that we would walk in them. Ephesians 2:10